Alright rockers, I have been back in the States for a couple
of weeks now. I just want to give closure to a couple of bloggy things that
were floating around from the Mexico/Spain/Uganda excursion. Bloggy thing 1: I
never got robbed. I mean, I got ripped off by a taxi driver in Mexico, but the
AC/DC wallet was never stolen from me. It’s around here somewhere with 10,000
Uganda bucks inside.
Found it
Speaking of Uganda, I heard a commercial on Kampala radio
for a contest called Mega. If I understood it correctly, you text the Mega
number for a price and maybe you’ll win a prize. Here is the part I definitely
understood: the announcer from the commercial said, “Everyone is excited about
Mega, and you will too.”
What the heck?
It’s like, I know what he means, but the more I think about
that phrasing, the more it tickles my brain.
Bloggy thing 2: the West. You know that song Light My Fire
from The Doors? Of course you do. Try to set the night on fire. Seriously. Go
try. Can’t do it can you? That’s why I am a The End man. The song The End from
The Doors is awesome and hilarious.
Like your face.
The lyrics are odd hippie poems about drugs and
inappropriate relationships with your parents. At one point old Jimdog sings:
The west is the best, the west is the best.
I’m not agreeing that one direction is superior to any other
direction, but I’m pretty comfortable in the west. It was pretty cool when Juli
and I got to New York and went out for some barbeque in Brooklyn. Barbeque may
not be what Brooklyn is best known for, but it was kisses from angels and you
got to pick your sides.
Ride the snake, y’all. The blue bus is calling us. Corn
bread.
Bloggy thing 3: coming home. We flew from NYC toward Denver.
The woman sitting next to me was pleasant and terrified. If there’s one thing I
enjoy, it’s a scared person on an airplane. I love it when we hit a bad bunch
of turbulence and you see someone start praying. Their fear is like candy to
me.
Remember The Exorcist? The little girl Regan interrupts her
mom’s party, goes up to the pilot and says, “You’re gonna die up there,” and
then she pees on the carpet. I would love to show that clip to every scared
person on the plane.
For reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8EvAj1acGU&t
Anyhoo – the scared woman was named Ann or Nancy or Heart or
something. She was upset because we had been in the air for way too long. I
realized she had a point. We should have landed in Denver an hour ago. I think
to myself: I mean, of course we’re going
to die up here. We’re in a metal tube in the sky. Shame on us. But I tell
Heart, “It’s probably going to be fine.”
At last the captain announces that we can’t land in Denver
and we are about to run out of fuel. As anyone would have guessed, it was time
to land in Scotts Bluff, Nebraska on some asphalt near a field that in no way
resembled an airport. Heart was not pleased.
Scotts Bluff like a boss
This story is starting to bore me. It ends: we got home and
Heart got stuck in Denver.
Bloggy thing 4: what’s next?
I don’t know dude, but I’ve got a new movie in the can, 15
Zloty on my desk, a guitar, and a neverending urge to wander. The future is
wide open. I’m excited.
And you will too.
