Oh snap oh nap

First grade was a long time ago to anyone reading this. If you don’t remember what it was like, please allow me to refresh your memory. One day, your first grade teacher taught you the difference between there/their/they’re, your/you’re, it’s/its, and to/two/too. If I remember correctly, a lot of kids were home sick that day. On another day, your teacher told you about siesta in Spain. The rest of your first grade year was spent doing crossword puzzles about George Washington.

For some reason, everyone remembers the siesta thing. Your not to sure if their right about it anymore because you learned a lot of things about other cultures that turned out to be not true. Let me tell you, the siesta in Spain? It’s real.

In my brief experience in Segovia, I would say most stores and restaurants close right around the time you get hungry. They open again right around the time you say, “You’re kidding.” Also, a bunch of places are closed on Sunday. I’m not talking about normal places like tattoo shops and noodle places. I’m talking about the store. Know why the store is closed?

God.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not bitching about siesta. I’m charmed as heck by it. It just takes a little getting used to.

My first grade teacher’s name was Mrs. Kinney. I have a clear memory of her saying some pretty racist stuff. I hope they don’t teach that stuff to kids anymore. But I wish they would spend another day on that whole there/their/they’re thing.

I have been trying to use fewer swear words in my blogs. Have you fucking noticed? Good for fucking you!

I have also been trying to find words that offend but don’t rely on gender to have impact. My favorites are “brittle” and “candyass.” Go on, talk about politics with that idiot you know and call them brittle. Let me know how it goes. I think it will go fine, candyass.

Anyhoo, I can’t find a fuck substitute. I almost like heck. Are you out of your hecking mind?

My old pal Jimmy Deveney is out on tour with his band, and get this: he’s blogging about it! Like every day or two, he’s posting a new blog. What a hecker! I can’t compete with that. Slow your hecking poo down.

Nah, do your thing.

Okay crocodiles and alligators, from this side of the aqueduct, see you later.